i dreamt of spiders last night upon mountaintops.

experiencing this "ah-ha" moment today.. coming to reality in the means of anxiety.  hands shaking, loss of focus, subconsciously pulling within. and, then i snapped. so i called my best friend, the only person i feel really understands why my mind works the way it does. borderline a breakdown. she talked me back into focus. there are goals to keep in mind and demons to kill and plans to create and new pathways to build and i'm finally at this point of wanting more yet willing to do the work needed. you see, i work for many dreamers sucking energy from my being and, the more i work the less i notice my intention. ever feel that you're being sucked into a black hole of demands from others vision? they take what they can and take even more and expect you to willingly waiver. i'm waving my white flag, i give up from this path, i need more, i need more, i need more. and i've realized i will never obtain my purest form if i'm bouncing my life off of others. i quit.