maggots

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Stare at this screen for too long. Cross your eyes just a little until this screen begins to blur out. In & out & in & out of focus. Read this sentence over and over again.Snap out of it. Close your eyes. Look at your surroundings for a few seconds. Those soft waves blurring out your vision was what it was like to see my kitchen floor move. Nothing like vertigo. Or the stagger of a drunk. It's like taking a moment to think and mindlessly gaze at the floor as you clear out your mind. Eyes blur out. And in that blurred state the floor begins to move. Very slowly. Like a little dance. A few moments later I finish up my thought and everything clears up. My vision sharpens and I notice that kitchen floor is moving. I walk right up to where the carpet and tile meet. A grain of rice rolling around? My toes right on the edge of the carpet as I lean forward to get a better look/examine the tile floor. I spot a tiny white, almost translucent, writhing maggot. It's working its way towards me. As I begin to straighten up I notice another one. And another one. And another one. Until my gaze is fixed to the middle of the kitchen where it looks like someone dumped a bucket of maggots. All those tiny albino maggots wiggling towards me.

This is what my mind decided to think about as I tried to go sleep last night. Caught a boring cold a few days ago and most of the symptoms are gone at this point except for the stuffy nose.

It's midnight and I'm wide awake and very nauseous from some meds. Go to sleep, I tell myself. Breathe. I can't. I'm stuffed up. Long deep breathes.  My nose is whistling. Let it whistle. This is what is sounds like when I snore. Deep breathes are exhausting me. Small short breathes. I ignore my nausea and I decide to lull myself to sleep with the sounds of my own nose whistles. It's working. I'm dazed. Maggots. Remember the pile of maggots. Hundreds of maggots. How did they get end up in a perfect pile in the middle of the kitchen floor?

Matt! I met Matt in college. He was quiet. We were never close friends. Or friends at all. Mere acquaintances. Years later S and I took him under our wing. He turned on us. Wrote us nasty private and very public messages. I just stood back and watched as he bashed me personally on the internet (I'm sure it's still out there if you look) and attacked any friend who came to my defense. Looking back I find it all humorous. Although in the moment I had no time in my life for stupid bullshit. And I never spoke a single word to him again. But believe me when I say he had 100% something to do with maggots dancing on my kitchen floor. He was that upset that he casted a spell and try to ruin my day by cleaning up a pile of Matts. You fucking little maggot!