toilet tricks & mind cholonics

you know those stomach aches that justleave you feeling as if the world were to die if it didn't go away? all you can do is curl in a ball and think think about the pain, think about the nauseau think think think & think some more you contemplate sticking your finger down your throat to rid your body's temple of this horrible feeling but you fear that moment, that staring contest with the porcelain that degrading sensation of teared up eyes and acidic tongue stench of bad decisions for raping your body of its organic lifestyle homeopathic mindsets turned concentrated cheap shit so you contemplate letting it sit, rot & overtake each millimeter of hope 'maybe i'll ass pass it out and watch it flush down to go rot in a sewer or mischieviously fertilize a new day of flowers' but you can't. but you don't want to. but you continue to do so, as if you like torturing yourself, holding on to something your body obviously wants no part of.

one moment of crave turned one moment of sastisfaction turned too many hours of dwelling over pain, discomfort & self mutilation

i can't take it. i can't take this !!

run to the bathroom... hand over mouth & eyes filled with fear the moment i throw you up... rid you from my hemisphere wipe away the residue on the sides of my mouth burn a candle to rid the stench of your filth empty inside, a feeling of new no longer polluted, i sit completely still

this is what i go through, when i remember you my dear symbolic food poisoning muse.