once in a blue moon

& now the rebuilding process begins.the blue moon sent me through a million emotions last night. talking with bev via video chat, my first time going to a bar alone & it turned out exactly as i had hoped new friends & run ins with an old acted off of emotion and regurgitated my soul 4 voicemails later, a mind cholonic multiplied to the tenth anxiety is underlining but for the most i feel new. exactly as the blue moon had intended.

next step, rebuilding. the blue moon happens again on the 31st of december dedicated to rebuilding, positivity and rejuvination i need to allow myself to feel again i need to allow myself to acknowledge my emotions and not be ashamed i need to allow myself to over analyze, obsess, fixate, then move forward because that is who i am. this is me, it always has been and the more i try to change this.. the harder being me, becomes.

i hope you listend to my words and if i get the response i'm expecting i'll understand.. but this is me, taking my hand and placing it in my pocket i need to be here for me now i need to be here for me now i need to be here for me now i hope you listened to my words, i hope you understand but if you don't, i will understand.

no more anger. no more tears. no more no mores. the path continues with one step and the fork feeds a soul with a choice met i believe in me again.. and that feels good.