dear pisces, i am in love with you.

i have been in search for a beautiful mysteryan intriguing moment, goosebump driven ecstacy not that of superficial or animalesque or philisophical

bullshit.

a moment, i felt completely, utterly.. alive. breathing in each moment, each scent as if it were my last not because i felt i should or needed to, because it felt right it was natural to feel completely natural no ties, no hidden agendas, just breathing in life

i had been in search of this beautiful moment a battle within myself of never being satisfied no matter what obstacle i was presented no matter how many 'to dos' i threw on my list no matter how many friends i had made or lovers i had swooned i was never satisified. it grew tiresome and it grew, tiresome and it grew tiresome making life into this job of living because i should be living life as i thought i should be living life as i thought they thought i should be everyone else, each and every person in my life more important in my own eyes, more valuable within my heart under my skin, raising goosebumps, more often than i could bestow upon myself, personally. judging my happiness and expecting my happiness REVOLVING MY HAPPINESS around you around you around you and you and you and every other beautiful individual trying to find their own way in this world too much weight i had thrown and standards i had placed too many expectations i had.. expected ignoring myself. no one ever wants to know themselves completely because it hurts. but along this course you realize the beautiful sunrise must be attacked by a realistic sun colors dismerssing, leaving images as memories and hopes for return yet no promises we are not promised anything except the promise within ourselves.

i had been in search for a beautiful mystery and  then i found it. a speechless moment, a hedonistic, intellectual, frightening moment

me.