3 am betrayal w/ a slap to the face

true emotions. a brink of insanity overthrowing every essence of being.. & yet still finding room to, control and obsess and infuriate and and.. leaving you trembling, needing more, anything more.  tapping at your vein as if it were to burst from this unexplainable pain and sense of weakness building a strength no one truly understands but your knees

do not move do not speak expect nothing

stomach tied in knots, bruised body.  black and blue, green and yellow, brown dots spiraling.  cascading images over my skin like a painting of each and every tear shed that night.. the night neither of you cared enough to care enough to care

& yet, here i am

finding it in my heart to want to hold on, ignore these horrible thoughts and move forward.. as if nothing had happened.  but i know this is impossible, but i know this is impossible, but i know this is impossible. . . because everything has happened and nothing will remain.  i am stuck within this tug of war game of

hate love love hate hate love love hate hate love love hate

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hate love love hate hate love love hate hate love love hate

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hate love love hate hate love love hate hate love love hate

what would you do.. you know, if you were me. [but you never would be me, because i would never be you] [but you never would be me, because i would never be you] [but you never would be me, because i would never be you] [but you never would be me, because i would never be you]

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