just, thought.

addicted to the point of this addictive momentum.  writing with eyes closed to avoid a second guessing sort of.. who am i, where am i, what am i ... doing?  i am feeling. & how i missed feeling for some time now.  living day to day with this numbing sensation, as if any other nerve ending were boycotting my skin.  i am stuck in my studio, staring into thick air of life.  simply thinking, plotting my next step, next breath, next moment i decide to experience life.  i want to sit here, eyes shut and just lose focus.. be me, completely.. avoid the pretense.

i wrote this with you in mind, but i've run out of words.. like i ran out of emotion. so i. so i. ..

so i choke, choke.. throw you up.