cash it in

dramatically cashing in my heart & throwing emotions to the drainspewing out secrets i've held in like a drunken binge urging the courage but i'm completely sober to the point of being hungover from intrigue. my stomach is gnawing and pointing poorly manicured fingers talking nonsense in the corner bringing me back to an awkward night i forced myself through we all hate those awkward nights that only lay low once overly wasted off cheap ass vodka stolen from dirty counter tops. little circles of cool crowds inter mingling within themselves in fear of denial makes me tipsy turvy to a breaking point.. the world begins spinning i'm combustive man, i'm combustive.. commmblowing up B L O W I N G    U P

poof.

she's gone.

but where'd she go?

wait, where have you been?

no longer writing about him or her or her or him feverishly focused on inward driven insecurities and love stories within myself mirror fixated reflections, slowly growing obsessed with an awkward picture i have avoided reality at all costs but no longer in the mood to deny, but to confront it let me walk out my emotion driven knots underneath layers & layers & layers of thick skin & witness me forfeit this front i so naturally fall into, if you feel the need to do so that is. love letters mixed chain letters forwarded to keep a smile on my face i want to throw it all away and throw you all away & forget it somethin' good. choosing to take control of my life again and no longer playing helpless hostage to my stomach gnawing, poorly manicured pointed fingers type of serial killer

SHE'S A SERIAL KILLER! EMOTIONS KILLER! LOVE KILLER! [pause]

i'm a killer man. but claiming victim never felt so damn appropriate. i crave your awkward emotion.

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