alpha state

eyes closed.seeking silence, solitude. meditative motivation breathe in

so tired these days dark circles over crowding my mixed emotion of a face boss says i wear my heart on my sleeve yet truth is my heart has been locked up for some time now. not feeling anything except what it feels like to, not feel anything at all except everything i build walls so high it'd take an eternity to ambush manipulate the canvas waterproof mascara in hand. i'm pushing you away & i can feel it but its second nature to me and it feels secure it feels safe

eyes closed. seeking silence, solitude. meditative motivation breathe out.

water running refigerator humming tv on mute as i hear that too familiar sound of a siren rushing by on their way to save another life as i feel my own creeping by slowly yet with force walking home from the bar avoiding eye contact with strangers in fear i might catch something like reality. exhausted ambushed repetitive i write to feel and i write to deal with emotions not meant to share. i feel a runaway spree coming on too quickly if i dissapear, understand its merely because you had me.

eyes closed. seeking silence, solitude. meditative motivation let go.

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