words on repeat, skipping the beat, falling

Received some intense news yesterday & have been shaky since.. barely knew you, somewhat knew of you, doubt if you knew of my existence, the non-existent memoir, our lives we’re leading, creating, blind folded, pleading.. but my chest hurts.  My chest has been hurting a lot these days. Who knows what its saying, trying to say?  Insanity.  Never truly knowing what lies between the mind, behind the glued smiles & high toned voice, on the inside.. our comforts barred free from background noise on repeat, repeat, scratch, errr repeat. Eyes blurred and hazy, fuzzy, manipulative stares.. that which creeps between the eyelids, between the gasping breath of life, of freedom, of pain, of surreal evangelistic listless moments.. trip, fall, stutter, blink, cry, tears, try, free.. will we ever truly be free?  Nagging, pulsating, envision a memory, not really even there.. a yet to experience memory but its set in stone. As I remember the vibe he let go with each glance, each word, each time we walked past one another, simply walking past one another.. never knowing a thing about the other, yet he had touched me, marked a fingerprint in my making, my dna, my creation of being and I didn’t even know him.. I didn’t even know him man. [rip]